I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
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We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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