i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize