I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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