Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My cat gives me a boner
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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