no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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