Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize