i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My vagina is officially offended.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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