just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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