I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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