My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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