I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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