my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize