Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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