I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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