party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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