When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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