She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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