return my video game
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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