I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
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I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
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She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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