so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize