i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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