We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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