i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize