Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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