All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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