I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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