Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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