Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
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hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
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Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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