I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
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I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
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Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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