didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize