i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
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He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize