I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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