just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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