Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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