I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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