p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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