i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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