so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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