I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize