I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
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i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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