i can't believe i had my finger in that
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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