How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize