o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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