I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize