Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
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just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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