So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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