Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize