Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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