Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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