Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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